The Screwtape Reports
By Adam Graham
Report #4
From: Dave Screwtape
To: House Democrats, Senate Democrats, Democratic National Committee, Friendly Publications
Subject: We Control the Future
I know that after the first two installments of my reports on why we're winning, that many of you are encouraged to continue the fight against the Republicans with vigor, knowing that long term victory is ours. The Republican Congress and Bush's approval ratings are merely temporary setbacks.
The most encouraging fact is that we control the future of this country as we shape and mold America's children.
The first way we do this is through the classroom. Lincoln once declared, "The philosophy of the school room in one generation will be the philosophy of government in the next." This fact ought to have Republicans quaking with fear.
More than ninety percent of American students attend public schools. The vast majority of principals, teachers, and superintendents support our party, a fact I relish.
Most remain unafraid to push children to begin thinking progressively, to be aware of the threats to the environment, to be concerned about the proliferation of handguns in America, to support acceptance of homosexuality as an alternate lifestyle, to realize that America was a dark and evil place until the 1960s, and to stand with feminist principles and ideas. These teachers are heroes and we need more like them. They are the key to our control of the next generation.
Sadly, too many teachers believe it's only their job to teach the basics such as reading, writing, and history. They need to get in line and realize that we aren't supporting education merely out of the goodness of our hearts, we expect results! They are to be recruiters for the Democratic Party not mere pedagogues.
Conservative teachers are a minor annoyance. Most stick to "the basics" and will never dare be controversial. Those who do reveal any bias are dealt with properly. We can't have science teachers challenging the validity of evolution or choosing Bible storybooks for their class. This is America! We have a first amendment to prevent people from forcing their religious viewpoints on the rest of us.
In general, most Conservatives simply give up teaching, because they know we are winning and they can't stand it. They can't stand to see a whole generation lost.
At college, we have even more success. Those students that are most willing to learn listen to the voice of their professors as if it is the voice of God. This fact has not gone unnoticed with college professors who take every opportunity to move the leaders of the future in our direction. I commend teachers who are able to use an English class to push students to support abortion. I laud those who find a way to bring up gay rights in Criminal Justice class. You are true heroes who help insure the future of our party for years to come.
Teachers are heroes, but they are not the only ones helping to secure our control of the next generation. Hollywood is doing its part as well. Generally, we heap praise on shows like "Nothing Sacred" and movies like "The Contender" but these are merely the Sunday morning sermons that encourage the congregation. The real evangelism for this party is done in children's television.
Our entertainment media is at its best when it's subtle. Cartoons that encourage environmental concern and opposition to development can help begin the process of molding a child into a supporter of the environmental movement, which in turn can mold him into a Democrat. Thanks to these programs, many children loathe developers, loggers, and their ilk, while they like environmentalists.
Special thanks also has to go for those writers who manage to put a dig against the Republicans in the midst of an entertaining program. I remember a few years ago, watching a black family sitcom where one character commented to an intelligent boy, "You could do anything. You could grow up to be a Black supreme court justice who isn't a sell out." This was a good swipe at Clarence Thomas. As with the best assaults on the Republicans, it was a "hit and run". The plot continued on without a beat as if the writers hadn't just attacked the integrity of a Republican Associate Justice of the Supreme Court!
The best thing about these efforts is that most parents, including conservative parents remain oblivious to the message that their television is preaching. They're too busy letting the television babysit their children to actually pay attention to the messages they are being sent. The parents then wonder later why their children became liberals.
Yes, it's nice when Hollywood makes movies for us ("The American President" and "The Contender") but it is far more successful as a tool to turn the minds of the young to our cause. Despite the immediate political climate, the entertainment media and the public education system will guarantee long-term political power and success.
Regards,
Dave Screwtape
The Screwtape Report is written by Adam Graham. The Screwtape Report is written from a Democratic perspective by a conservative in order to reveal Democratic strategy and thinking. .
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